How to Fail at Building a Habit

Harshit Soni
2 min readJun 5, 2021
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

You must have read — do one thing for 21 days & you develop a habit. You do that for 90 days, the habit becomes a permanent part of your life.

I tried the same & still couldn’t develop some habits. I found some sure-shot ways of not building a habit.

So with full motivation, I took 2 challenges in 2020:

• I’ll post daily on LinkedIn

• I’ll read a specific newsletter daily

I did those tasks for 35 days straight. Then why I still couldn’t have them as habits?

I realized there was no stimulus to my mind for doing those tasks. I did the tasks at random times of the day. It was purely based on memory or motivation to show up daily. Then what is the right way of doing it?

Our mind looks for static reference points.

So the most important part is to:

1. Either link with another habit or something that you daily (like having dinner)

E.g. you can go for a walk right after dinner. Now ‘walking’ is linked to your ‘dinner’.

2. Or set a fixed time for doing it daily

E.g. you can set a fixed time to write your journal daily, say 8 AM.

If you miss creating either of the reference points, it doesn’t matter for how many days you do it, your habit won’t be formed, & your mind won’t bring it up naturally.

So next time you’re trying something new, do things in a similar fashion every day to make your mind recognize it as a habit.



Harshit Soni

I write about entrepreneurship, marketing, & some totally random things I get curious about.